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Issue #12: February 28, 2002
To our readers:
Do you dread or resent criticism? Receiving criticism can be a direct path to making yourself look good! Everyone is subject to it, from the person in the mailroom to the CEO of the organization. No one likes it, but everyone would be wise to hear it with an open mind. You can learn more about how to improve in your work and life through criticism than through many other channels.
Most criticism is intended to help you do your job, even live your life, better. It is meant to be useful and constructive. Some criticism is unfair, unjust, and unkind. It is not meant to help you improve in anyway, it is intended to hurt you, make you angry, and wreck your day. Don't let it. The smart person treats all criticism in the same objective way, learning from it what he or she can and discarding the rest. The foolish person allows him- or herself to be manipulated into being angry or responding defensively, thereby losing whatever benefit he might have gained, and looking unprofessional and undignified in the process.
If someone comes to you with a complaint about your work, or angry about something you've done, and leaves knowing that you heard what she or he had to say and that you will take action to correct your shortcoming, that someone is going to be very impressed with you.
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Brief
Tips #12:
Four Tips for Responding to Criticism so it Leads to Praise:
1. Consider criticism part of the process of doing your job.
This helps you drop the emotional reaction to being criticized and enables you to use your problem-solving skills. Put in perspective, criticism is very positive. If you view it as positive, you can make it work for you. The criticism will be there; you might as well make it your servant.
2. Understand that it is very possible you have been misunderstood. That is not a tragedy.
All of us are misunderstood many times throughout our lives. It is inevitable that your intentions will be misconstrued, your end product misused, your words taken out of context. Be thankful that someone will bring those "faults" to your attention through criticizing you. This gives you the opportunity to explore how what you said and did went awry and enables you to straighten things out, solve the problem, adjust your behavior, and regain the respect you deserve.
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3. Use your listening skills to fully understand the criticism.
When someone begins to criticize you, turn off your ego and crank up your objectivity. Hold your fire, and let the other person talk. Don't interrupt. Make eye contact and think intently about what he or she is saying. If there are distractions, take care of them, and explain to your critic that that is what you are doing, e.g. if people are noisy in the hallway outside your office, close the door. If there is a radio on, turn it off.
If your telephone is ringing, turn off the ringer if you can. For more tips on listening fully,
see Brief Tips #1 and
Brief Tips #2.
4. Don't defend yourself.
It is pointless to try to defend yourself, and interferes with your learning process. It is pointless because it signals a tendency to make excuses instead of solve problems. No matter how valid your self-defense, it comes off as a sign of weakness, insecurity, and unwillingness to take responsibility for your actions. It interferes with your learning process because as long as you are marshalling your defenses you are not focusing on what the other person is saying, and you will probably miss how you might actually improve your work or your behavior. So take the brain power you would have used to defend yourself and apply it to understanding what your critic is telling you.
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